It looks like Obama will probably be the next World’s Most Powerful Man. Not bad, for someone who’s half-black, in the land of the KKK. If he doesn’t have a ‘Dallas moment’, he may well go on to unite America, as he is genetically suited to do, being half-black and half-white. Here’s my proposition:
The black half of Obama angrily accuses the white half of enslaving him, making him pick cotton, and keeping all the good stuff for himself.
The white half apologises (on his knees) and promises to release the black half from his chains, get the Mexicans to pick cotton instead, and stop making watermelon jokes.
The black half is placated and, moved by a rare spirit of generosity, apologises for 50 Cent, Oprah Winfrey, and all crimes committed by black people. He adds that ‘whitey’ can keep making watermelon jokes since he’s got used to them by now and it’s not like he’s neurotic and hypersensitive or anything.
Thus will black and white America be united in peace – in the person of Obama. i propose he divide his personality in half on camera and perform the above routine as part of his inauguration.
As an Anglo-Indian i shall follow suit here.
My Indian half (Raj) hereby accuses my English half (Roger) of enslaving India and stealing all our rubies.
Roger apologies but would like to point out that we did teach you cricket, after all.
Raj concedes the point and muses that it’s a pity the English are so crap at cricket, as they are at everything, so it’s just as well they taught it to those as can play it properly.
Roger shrugs with a defeated English shrug and suggests they go out for a curry.
A capital idea, Raj agrees, and is moved to apologise for driving fish and chip shops out of existence, and also volunteers a certain distaste at Bollywood and its excesses.
Thus are the crimes of the British Empire and the bad taste of Bollywood finally laid to rest.
Brilliant! Marvellous!
You have induced ‘Golden Laughter’, my Lord..:)
My exquisitely heart warmed gratitude.
You know, there are people out there who would read this with their fists clenched, convinced i’m a Nazi. Try to explain it’s meant to be humour and they’d go mental.
Are you fucking kidding me? Obama for president?
Precisely whose arse have you been shoulders-deep in for the last 8 years?
The next Buttonman will be McCain, and we will all have to vomit oil onto an endangered eagle to appease the cunt’s whims for another 4 miserable shitting years. OR I’LL EAT YOUR TURDS.
Fancy a Jalfrezi?
i don’t really like curry to be honest. i thought Obama had done that cool dance on telly, and that meant he had to win?
I didn’t realise you were half Indian, I took you for a Bedoiun.
To go from Obama to Bollywood in 313 words is quite an accomplishment. Well done.
Obama v McClain = Democrat v Republican = both the same