ring donut - the saga continues
May 13, 2008 by elberry
The pretty girl at the ring donut shop gave me two ring donuts today. This is clearly a prelude to death. With Viking-like obliviousness, however, i failed to capitalise on this, as we can see:
Girl: We’ve got lots of donuts today so I’ll give you two.
Elberry [not hearing]: Sorry?
Girl: I’ll give you two ring donuts today, because we’ve got lots.
Elberry [still not hearing]: Sure, okay.
Elberry nods curtly, takes the bag and leaves. As he is exiting her words are retrospectively understood and he realises he has - once again - acted like an ungrateful boor and a thug.
i shall have to redress this in some way. i’ve decided to write a 700 line epic poem about ring donuts for her. Here are the first two lines:
there is no finer breakfast
than a ring donut or even two
Ask her to go out with you instead. And do it tomorrow; as you may well know, Wednesday is Anything Can Happen Day…
This just made me burst in laughter … the only problem is that I’m in the library, so of course everyone just stared at me in confusion (wouldn’t be the first time people think I’m weird anyway). At least I wasn’t eating anything at the time!
Anyway my point is: you can be extremely funny
and i would really do want to read the rest of the epic poem!
the rest of the poem was never written though after my death scholars will hunt through my pizza boxes, empty wine bottles, laundry basket, and stacks of war films, looking for evidence as to its whereabouts. No doubt a charlatan will claim i entrusted the poem to his or her safekeeping and thus literary posterity will be misled for a while.
I sort of imagined you didn’t have the rest of the poem written. It was just one of my failed attempts of a kind of ironic joke.
Good point though. However, you should be careful when you say that you might write something that you actually don’t plan to. It confuses people, and fans could be well disappointed. Picture that in time, after dedicating their lives to find that ‘ingenious masterpiece’ that Elberry ‘claimed he was planning to write’, they would come to the conclusion that Elberry mislead them, so that they wasted their lives to find nothing (putting aside the point that most people do that anyhow). You wouldn’t want to have that on your conscience would you…